Becoming a mom was one of the biggest transitions of my life. My understanding of priorities, my ability to function with low low reserves, my tolerance for the grossest of bodily functions – so much changed within a tiny window of time. I surprised myself and doubted myself. I’ve laughed hysterically, cried heaving sobs, and thought I would explode with joy.
Then I went back to work – and had to figure out how to make all this newness work at work.
And somehow, I felt like I was loosing myself along the way. I knew the cadence and description of someone else’s every bowel movement but wasn’t even sure I’d brushed my teeth.
For me, there was just an itch, a moment of discomfort, sometimes a longing in the middle of the night. Was I doing what I really wanted to be doing? Was I proud of it and what was I teaching my daughter about who she could be?
And I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way.
Turns out, life had some more changes in store for me. I got divorced when my daughter was 4. I started my own business shortly thereafter. (A lot of conventional wisdom would argue against this timing – but sometimes when things are already completely disrupted, you just have to go for it.) My business turns 6 years old this year – and my daughter turns 12. I’m still learning so much.
My community has grown and gotten stronger – people stepped up and supported me, seemingly out of nowhere. I had to learn to say ‘yes, I need help’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘oh my gosh – thank you.’ We’re still figuring it out, and I love that.
My daughter and I are currently in our next big transition. Middle School. Oh yeah. It’s happening.
We’re dealing with mean girls, technology, acne, and actually getting some sleep. It’s such a sweet gift to be here as my kiddo finds her way from ‘child’ to ‘adult’. I step on fewer Legos and I usually still get a good-bye hug. I’m learning when and how to step back – and when to rush back in with snuggles and love. We’re having really dynamic and interesting conversations. She still has to be told to wash her hair.
All along the way, I’ve met some amazing people who are using transitions to live creative and fulfilling lives – lives that are both bigger and more balanced than anything we’ve seen before. I’m passionate about being a part of this conversation, the one where we support each other as we make leaps into the unknown – motherhood, work, new jobs, new responsibilities, family role reversals – both the changes that are forced on us and the risks we take.
This world seems to be full of change and transition – how do we harness that energy to create something new and amazing in response?
I’m excited to be a part of the Austin Moms community with you. Thanks for being part of this journey!