He can do it all. My husband works hard in his career to provide for our family, cooks a great meal, can clean the house, tackle bath time with both the girls, and put Zelda (our oldest) to bed complete with a kiss and bedtime story. My husband can take Zelda to play on the playground or watch the baby while I run errands or have one-on-one time with Zelda. To my fault- it can go unnoticed. In the same way that moms can often feel under appreciated- Dads can too. This Father’s Day I have an even bigger appreciation for who he is as a father and husband. The two of us going from one kid (and family to help us out) to two kids (and no family around to help us out) was the biggest life shift we’ve experienced to date. I certainly couldn’t have managed this change alone. (I use the word “manage” lightly- as I still find myself in survival mode 6 months later.)
He’s my better half, my favorite person to talk to, my sounding board, my biggest supporter, & my very best friend in the whole world. I couldn’t have picked a better dad for my girls.
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Throughout previous generations fathers weren’t exactly into “hands-on” parenting. Their focus was to bring home the paycheck while mothers worked in the home to keep the house & raise the kids. Fast-forward to today: dad’s doin’ it all. They’re doing more than working hard to pay bills and keep food in the fridge. Today I find that more often Dads embrace being heavily involved in the lives of their kids. They show up to the big game, take them on a lunch date, or a trip to the park. Dads have always had the ability to love and nurture in a different way than moms. It’s a beautiful thing to see this being normalized in our culture today.
Zelda cries when Aaron leaves for work, just like she does when I leave the house. After I tuck her into bed at night, she demands a goodnight from daddy too. As soon as I walk in the door after being away, I always hear a “Momma! You’re home! I’m so glad you’re here!”. She says the same when Aaron gets home from work. I find her equal affection towards us so beautiful.
When Zelda was little, my mom once said to me, “he sure does a lot for you”. Insinuating that Aaron did a lot of parenting (i.e. diaper changes, feedings, watching, etc.). She was scolding me for the way I asked Aaron to help me so much or that I didn’t do “enough” and made him do too much. I don’t fault her for it- it wasn’t something to take personally. Parenting looked a lot different 30 years ago. There were a few ways I parented differently from her & she didn’t always understand.
While there are differences between the role of mother and father, as well as Aaron & I having different personalities, many of the day-to-day parenting and household tasks are shared between the two of us. It’s about finding a balance that works for the whole family so we can all stay sane.
Some days Aaron watches Zelda all day because Esther needs my attention all day. Some days I take the girls on a playdate so he can recharge.We take turns making dinner depending on our schedules. He took care of me and Zelda so I could heal from having a baby and I took care of him and the kids after he broke his foot. When I lose my patience with the kids he’s there to take over and I do the same for him. We work together. We both give 100% to parenting our kids and that looks different everyday.
Aaron often says to me, “Thanks for being Super Mom”. To that I say, “Thanks for being Super Dad”. To heck with following every traditional parenting “role”. Yes to both mom and dad having careers. Yes to both mom and dad watching the kids so the other can relax or hang out with friends. Yes to both parents doing dishes, laundry, and putting the kids to bed. Yes to mom and dad both packing school lunches and taking them on playdates.
So I’m spoiling my husband on Father’s day because he’s Super Dad. He’s everything I dreamed of in a father and more. Cheers to all the Super Dads, proudly standing beside all the Super Moms. Taking on parenthood together, one day at a time.
