When Your Dad is Your Best Friend

Growing up, I didn’t have the best of childhoods. My parents divorced when I was eleven. It was a contentious divorce and all four of us children were in the middle. My relationship with each of my parents had many seasons through life. Some seasons longer than others and some better than others. The childhood I wouldn’t wish on anyone has taught me more about being a mother and human. Today I am grateful for all of those lessons and believe that I am better for it. 

My dad was pretty strict growing up. That’s how he was raised. We kept a clean house and our 3 acres were hand mowed and it was rare to see a weed in the gravel. I hated those summers pulling weeds on our property and I remember thinking that when I had kids, they would never pull weeds. Ha! Just this weekend, yesterday in fact, I caught myself saying, “These kids need to pull weeds. Bare hands and I don’t care if they’re itchy or stinging or complaining or hot and thirsty.” My oldest son and his friend were outside helping me do yard work and at every task, they either complained or couldn’t complete it. The mower kept dying. The weed-eater line kept jamming. The rake broke. It was hot. Our bodies ached. I taught them how to pull weeds. They learned how to fix lawn equipment. We even used our hands instead of a rake. They complained the entire time. I laughed and told stories of my childhood but I guess that fell on deaf ears like the ol’ “I walked to school in the snow uphill both ways…” 

My dad and I live 500 miles apart but every day on my hour long drive home from work, I call him. And every day when I’m driving past this one particular ranch out in the hill country, we lose signal, he knows I just have to get to the tractor before he can hear me again. I can hear him but he can’t hear me so he picks up on the conversation, “Well, I guess you’re not quite past the tractor so I’ll tell you about my day…” and he does or he says something really funny and I just laugh. Some days I wait until I’m past that point to call him but some days I have so much to share that I need to call him immediately upon departure. My dad was a hard working locomotive engineer all his life and is now retired. He spends his days playing his guitars and waiting for 3 o’clock when his favorite kid calls him. I share the joys and pains of raising my kids, the highs and lows of my job, just about everything really. He is my sounding board and I look forward to our daily chats. 

Last year we got to attend a John Mayer concert together and it was one of the best days of my life. Not only because I’m a huge John Mayer fan but because I got to do something so special and extraordinary with my dad. He and I had never done anything together, just us, before. On the drive to the concert, my dad held onto that handle above the passenger seat so tight and you’d think I was 16 and this was my first driving lesson. It wasn’t but it was hilarious. My dad is a lot of things and funny is top of the list. Dad collects guitars. I know nothing about them other than I think any guitar John Mayer is playing sounds amazing. Sharing the appreciation for music, the songs, the lyrics, the jokes, just made an amazing memory. 

At Christmas my youngest and I road tripped back to my hometown to visit my dad. On a little shopping adventure, I tripped while holding my daughter but not without trying to catch my fall as ungraceful as possible. I was banged up pretty badly and to listen to my dad re-tell his version of what seemed like a slow motion running man while holding child is hilarious. I get that you probably had to be there to appreciate the hilarity but that scar on my knee and the rip in my favorite pair of black jeans makes me smile. 

As I near 40, I can say my dad is one of my best friends. If I have a bad day, I can call him and vent all about it. If I have a good day, I can call him and he’s going to share my joy. With all that I accomplish in my life, I know my dad is proud of me. My dad is my number one fan in any situation. I appreciate the life lessons he’s given me. Even though I didn’t appreciate the work and growth in those lessons at the time. Today I’m so grateful and believe I am a better mother and a better human because of them.