The Importance of Scheduled Me Time
Being a mom is one of the best things of my life. Notice, I said one of, not THE best thing. I know, I know, that’s a bold statement to make.
My Extra Appendage
Once we have a child, we moms often feel pressure to turn our kids lives into our soul purpose for being. We spend so much time worrying and thinking about them that it’s easy to lose ourselves. It’s easy to become so wrapped up in them that we forget to take care of our own mental health needs too. After all, we know the schedule, we know the triggers for meltdowns, we know what will cheer them up. We know everything about them to the point that we forget what makes us, us.
When I first became a mom, I didn’t want to even leave my son’s side. This is not at all uncommon, but I may have taken it to a special level. I’m talking I would often nap on the floor of his bedroom while he napped too just so I could hear him the moment he woke up. I was so attached that he was basically another appendage. This was all a big reason why I even chose to leave behind my career to become a stay at home mom. I love him, but let’s be real. That wasn’t sustainable or very healthy for my own well being. The only other adult I was really talking to was my husband, and our conversations often revolved around our child.
My husband would try to get me out of the house, but every time I tried to leave, I’d come right back within 10 minutes. Or, I’d spend the entire time on the phone texting my husband because I was afraid he would do something wrong. That wasn’t very fair to him, or to me. I needed to find myself again.
Discovering Myself Again
So, my husband and I decided I would start small. Once a week, I would go sit somewhere, anywhere, and write. We had a scheduled time that I would leave the house, on a scheduled day. At first, my husband basically had to shove me out of the house, but eventually I started to look forward to my “me time.”
Slowly, my once a week “me time” became something I looked forward to. Eventually I decided I was ready to get back on the stage, which is my favorite hobby. I knew it would be a bigger time commitment than one night a week, but I also knew it was the only way to truly get back to being myself again.
Now, two and a half years after my son was born, I realize that I can be an attentive mom AND continue hobbies that I loved before he was born. I no longer feel guilty every time I leave the house. After all, I spend everyday with my son, I deserve time to myself. I love recharging my batteries and having adult conversation that has nothing to do with being a mom. I’ve remembered that I actually have a first name and it isn’t Mama.
So fellow mama’s out there, get yourself some consistent scheduled time away from being mom. I’m talking completely solo time. No, taking your kid to workout with you doesn’t count. I tried that. Turns out it’s still mom time.
Go do whatever it is you love to do alone. No kids, husband optional.
