The Trick That Saved The Big Kid Bed Transition

Two years. You’d think that’s plenty of time to conquer the dreaded transitions. You hear more are on the horizon, but at this point, you’re a pro.

Welcome to the big kid bed transition.

I hear some people go through this phase flawlessly. I’m jealous. For us, it’s been the toughest, longest transition yet.

We incrementally dropped the crib mattress down as far as it would go, and eventually came the point when it would no longer contain our little monkey. He became extra clingy, got spoiled by a few nights sleeping with the grandparents, was going through a cold and teething spell, and came home to decide he was DONE with the crib.

He would climb out faster than we could put him in, and there was no turning back.

We converted his crib to a toddler bed, but it helped zero. We tried to keep the door shut on his room thinking he would give up and go to sleep, but he was an angry bear and tossed the room. Desperate, we ended up in our queen guest bed one night, and that seemed to be the only bed (other than our own) that we could get him to sleep in. We bought some safety rails and were content with our new solution, but the nights following weren’t so easy. We would have to lay down with him until he fell asleep, often falling asleep ourselves. He would scream and climb out of bed if we tried to escape before he was out. He’d also wake up in the middle of the night, cry and come into our room, and we’d have to start the process over again. There was no remorse.

Our bedtime routine was a mess. Our disrupted sleep was a mess. We were all a mess.

The peace and bedtime routine we had grown accustomed to for two years was gone. And for four weeks we suffered through the disruption. I feared that if we couldn’t figure out how to get back on track that we were going to create some habits that would be harder to break down the road.

Y’all, I can’t have a kid sleeping in my bed every night. I just can’t. We are ALL better people with a solid night’s rest.

After explaining the situation at our two-year check up, the doctor told us to buy a lock and lock that sucker in. I was terrified, but I was also desperate. My husband, much easier to sway.

That night my husband bought a Door Monkey lock on Amazon that essentially keeps the door propped open but locked (our friends had used the same kind), and in two days it arrived on our doorstep. It was time.

I was nervous, terrified, sad. A lock sounded so mean. We were so far past crying it out that I couldn’t bear the thought of trapping our kid into a room and hearing him scream “Mama” to get out. How awful.

So I sat on the couch with knots in my stomach and a frown on my face as my husband did the deed – put the lock on the door and put our son down. The crying began. Let me tell you, ONE MINUTE. That kid cried for ONE MINUTE, climbed back into his bed and slept through the entire night. The next night, LESS than one minute. The third night, ZERO crying, straight to sleep. IT WORKED! And it was totally painless.

In an odd way I think the lock may provide our son security. He knows it’s time for bed. He knows he can’t get out. The door is propped open so he knows he’s not trapped. I like to think it’s almost comforting, like a crib.

And if you’re wondering about a hypothetical fire, his bedroom door is about 20 feet from where I sleep. I could slam my body into that door and break that lock. The doctor also reminded me that if there was a fire, we’d no doubt be the first ones to wake, ahead of our son. Plus, it’s technically safer to have doors shut (all the way, though) in the case of a fire.

So that’s our bed transition trick – a lock. A not so cruel way for our entire house to get a solid night’s sleep.

We are working through some kinks, for the record. We still get the occasional middle of the night wake. My son also likes to cry early in the morning when my husband is getting ready for work, so I squirm down the hall and sleep my final hour with him in the guest bed. I secretly love the cuddle time and don’t mind the 6am wake up call. I think we’ll start taking the lock off when we go to bed, or early in the mornings when my husband wakes, but for now, we need to establish our new routine a bit longer.

If you’re desperate and have a strong-willed human like ours, it may sound scary, but try a lock. You may just finally have found your big kid bed transition solution.

What transition works best for your family when moving to the big kid bed?