I’ll be honest, I had to look up the official significance of National Son’s Day because – in my household, anyway – every day seems to be Son’s Day? Just me, boy moms?
What I discovered in my thorough research of this day and its history and meaning, is that it was created in the 1990’s in response to National Take Your Daughter to Work Day, in an effort to give sons their own special day. To honor them and those who raise them.
RELATED READING :: Celebrate Your Children on National Son and Daughter Day
If you’re new on this parenting journey, with young sons or if you’re expecting your first boy, allow me – mom to two older sons (one’s 23 and the other is 14) – to share with you a bit of what to expect.
You’ve probably heard that boys are rough-and-tumble, sweaty, smelly creatures who become obsessed with sports and video games, and sticking their hands down their pants.
While these stereotypes are mostly true (especially the hands-in-the-pants thing, which is where both my boys maintained hand placement, as if it were fused into place there, from the age of about six to probably, oh, 10 or so?), these characteristics don’t at all fully encompass the complexities of being a boy. Especially in today’s world.
Generations before ours raised boys to be “tough” and “strong.”
They were taught to hide their emotions because “men don’t cry,” in an effort to prepare them to be strong leaders of their own families.
But we’ve grown as a society and we’ve learned how dangerous that mentality can be. We’ve learned that it’s actually healthier for everyone involved to teach our boys that having emotion is part of being a human being – female and male. And that it’s okay to show it.
Even though we’ve evolved in this aspect, our boys and young men still walk a narrow line of what we expect of them. For example, we want them to be able to show emotion, but we don’t want them to be blubbering, snotty fools every time they don’t get their way.
Here’s a wish from me to my sons on this National Sons Day, and what I hope I’m teaching them every single day:
Having empathy for others is such a gift – not just for others, but for you, too, my precious boys. While this can be a characteristic you’re born with, you can also learn how to see things from the perspectives of others. You just have to be open to trying.
I wish for you to have the courage to lead your families someday, but tender enough to accept when your partner needs to lead for a while.
Have respect for others. I’m talking about real respect: extending basic human decency to others, not just treating someone kindly when they’ve behaved according to an arbitrary expectation.
Live your life with integrity. Know that doing the right thing even when it isn’t easy – “keeping your side of the street clean,” as a therapist once worded it to me – is the very best way to live life.
Keep your sense of humor – please don’t ever lose that. The ability to laugh and see the sunny side of situations will see you through so many of life’s challenges.
Know when to ask for help. Not just with tasks and responsibilities that may have you feeling overburdened, but also with the heart stuff. Depression and anxiety can be a lonely place, but you are never, ever alone, no matter how skilled your brain is with telling you this lie.
Continue to be the best of friends with each other. With an eight-year difference between you, I’m in awe of how you both look up to one other and have such genuine love for spending time together. When the rest of the world falls away, you two will always have each other’s backs, and for that I am certain.
Since I don’t have daughters, I have no way to compare raising boys versus raising girls.
I can only tell you that raising sons is the very sweetest gift. It’s surely the most important responsibility. And it’s the greatest honor of my entire life.
Photo Credit :: Laura Morsman Photography
