I’m a gym girl.  I prefer being called a gym girl over a gym rat — but I’m there a few times a week.  We all have different motivations — to look better, to eat whatever you want, to socialize, to pick up members of the opposite sex, to relieve stress, to utilize the childcare for a bit of a break {yes, moms need breaks every now and then!!!!}, etc.  I don’t much care what your reasons for going are …  I am a mix — to get a bit of a break from the routine of children and for stress relief.  Don’t get me wrong, looking better is an added bonus but I’m a girl who likes to eat hamburgers as well as have a glass of wine from time to time, so my body fat percentage is an ever fluctuating number and that’s perfectly fine by me.

That being said — there are some annoying habits of men and women that I would love to hand cease and desist orders to!  Would it be rude to hand them little note cards that say, “get a life?”

1.  The Gym Selfie

Wait, wait — I’m in the middle of a set and I need to stop and take a #selfie!  My muscles look swollen and I feel great.  I’m not really sweating but damn, I think I look good.  Plus, I want to document that I’m at the gym — for the second time today!  Or — I’m too embarrassed to take pictures of myself on the gym floor (which you should be) — so, I’ll just utilize the bathroom and drop my pants and take pictures of my muscular legs!  Or I’ll flex in the mirror and smile because #selfies are awesome especially when you can see a toilet in the background!

2.  Showing up with a Brazilian blow out

Damn.  My hair looks awesome and I’m hot and I damn well want everyone to know that I’m super high maintenance and rubber bands these days are sooooo expensive!!   Plus, I need my hair to look good for the #selfie I’m about to do!!  I should do this #selfie with a weight so I can pop my muscles out.

3.  Shorts that reveal your booty or armless T-shirts

I went to get new gym shorts the other day and I couldn’t find *any* that were a decent length.  When I do a squat — I don’t want my butt to hang out and I kinda like my butt.  But I don’t need to have a tractor beam on it and guess what — neither do you.   I was with a friend and did a squat and thank GOD she told me to take them off.  And men — get yourself a tight t-shirt WITH arms — women can still tell that you have biceps AND triceps. I know, I know — you need those cut off shirts for the #selfie but trust me, leave something to the imagination!

4.  Girls who put on make up *just* to workout. 

Okay, so you are coming from work during lunch and you have make up on — okay, I get it.  But I see plenty of women putting on make up before they walk upstairs.  And not older women … women who are beautiful without makeup.  I wonder … why?  Is your dream man up there taking his own #selfie?    Is the self esteem of women so crappy in the gym that they have to look perfect to sweat?   Or they aren’t planning on working hard enough TO sweat?  Because sweatie #selfies are just ugly.

5. All brand name clothing, all the time. 

Nothing says you take your fitness seriously like wearing *only* expensive clothing.  Did you know Target has cute tops, too?  OH — they aren’t low cut enough to show your breasts or butt?  They don’t have the same butt lifting quality?

6.  The grunter

This is mostly for men — but some women, too.  And I get it — a little bit of grunting when you are working on strength just kind of happens … but I’m talking about the ones who are clearly making it loud JUST for attention.  You know who you are.  You probably have someone behind you getting ready to take your #selfie.  In which case, what is it called?

7.  The stinky one

Religious or cultural customs aside, those people who just *forget* to put deodorant on, those of us who are near you sure wish you were aware of your own stench.  Deodorant.  It does a body good.

Oh, and I know — the avid commenters who say, “who cares what everyone else is doing … why don’t you just work out and not give a care in the world, blah blah blah,”  these PSA’s are meant to be funny and not a *true* judgment of people.  I can think you are annoying and work out right next to you.   I *cannot* however watch you take a #selfie and EVER think it’s cool.

What gym habits do you find irritating?