Before we begin, I adore my kids. If my husband is my #1, there is no question that they are my #1.25, #1.5, and #1.75. One day I’ll write another article titled “Why I Love My 3 Sons More Than Everyone Else EXCEPT FOR My Husband”. Ok?!? So just know that my children are loved, and don’t judge me, and don’t write a bunch of mean comments about what a cold-hearted mom I am. Now. Moving on.
To my husband….I tried really hard to keep this from being mushy and sappy (I could have gone SO mushy and SO sappy. Recognize that. Appreciate it. Be relieved).
So here, in no particular order, are the reasons Why I Love My Husband More Than My Children:
– I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to nurse my husband (and if he were to ask, I could simply tell him “not tonight”).
– The two of us were an “us” before the five of us were an “us”. He came first, and in my opinion, he should remain that way.
– My husband NEVER says, “I pooped. And it’s really messy. Can you PLEASE just wipe me this one time, and I’ll go back to wiping myself tomorrow? (True story).
– I CHOSE him, and he chose me. There is something special about that. God GAVE me my kids. I was BLESSED with kids. I chose TO HAVE kids. But I didn’t specifically, individually, hand-pick each one, based on how much I just genuinely like THEM. I did with my husband (and I would again in a heartbeat!)
– HE is my voice of reason. The calm to my storm. THEY are my storm. (Beautiful little storms they are, but storms, nonetheless).
– Quite simply, he is, and pretty much always has been, my favorite person ever. Favorite Person Ever is a hard position to replace.
– Picking up the stray empty beer can he left out on the back patio is much preferable to picking up the stray sippy cup that rolled underneath the couch, and is now full of hard milk. Do you know what hard milk is? Exactly what it sounds like. Milk that isn’t even liquid anymore.
– He is my teammate. My partner. We work TOGETHER to love our kids well, raise our kids well, teach our kids well, and enjoy our kids well. But it is HE who remains my partner…not them.
-He puts me first. They put me last. Oh, how they put me last! “Mama doesn’t need to pee, poop, eat or sleep! Just feed me NOW!” says my newborn (Was I that selfish when I was a newborn?? I mean, seriously).
– This verse from the Bible: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” No where does it ever say I am to become “one flesh” with my children. Plus….if all goes well…my little men are going to leave THEIR father and mother one day (mother…that’s me! Sob sob), and my husband is who I will be left with. Better make sure I love him best.
– “They” (the kids) have RUINED my already, not-that-impressive boobs. HE (contrary to what he may say) is going to be the one who is going to (pay to) FIX my boobs. Unless I change my mind about that.
– He is my best friend. They are my babies. My little loves. My responsibilities. My JOB. Blessings. Amazing gifts, designed by God. My heart, walking around on three little sets of legs, yes. But… they aren’t my best friends. They aren’t who I go to relax with, laugh with, vent to, unwind with, and dream with. He is.
– Convincing my husband to take a nap is never a battle. He’s an obedient little guy.
– He looks at me, sees “end of my rope/going crazy/sliding right off of the Sanity Precipice” in my eyes, and swoops in to save. They look at me, see “end of my rope/going crazy, sliding right off the Sanity Precipice” in my eyes, and….they move in for the kill.
– He gave me them.
Do YOU love your husband more than your kids?
Hey I love the article. I think it is funny. She may or may not love her husband more than her kids, but what she’s saying is a trip!!!!! I think people are so wrapped up in exact wording thAt they forget to find the humor in things!!!!
I really enjoyed this article. It’s so important to honor your spouse. Not worship them, but show respect for them and in turn teach your children to respect them. I saw the opposite of this in my aunt and uncle. Her whole world revolved around her kids. She did everything for them and left my uncle by the wayside. My cousins are extremely entitled, one more than the other, and have been extremely disrespectful to my aunt and uncle over the years. My aunt continued to do this even into her kids’ 30s and 40s and it’s carried over to her grandchildren. She always had somewhere to be, something to do, someone to go pick up. My uncle didn’t divorce her, but sadly, my uncle became sick and passed away a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, even at his funeral, they couldn’t bring themselves to honor their father.
I agree with this sentiment. I put my wife first because I know that bedrock stability for our marriage is actually the finest gift I can give my children. I know that as they see me loving and serving my wife that they will be comforted, that they will gain confidence and that I will always have my children in my life as long as my wife and I are bound together in love. Putting children before spouse is a recipe for a broken marriage, which will cause all the harm that was trying to be prevented.
I think most are missing the separation between love and priority. If a mother loves anything more than her children, she’s doing it wrong. But, that doesn’t mean that children always come first. To love someone doesn’t mean that you ALWAYS do what they want it give them priority.
I can have more love for my children, and yet choose my husband over them in some cases. Not cases where they NEED ME, but cases where they just want me for something. I have no problem leaving them for a weekend, they don’t want me to but it’s not gonna hurt them so, off I go with their daddy! They will survive. It doesn’t mean I love him more than them, it means that I recognize and respond to NEEDS accordingly, while loving my family in a healthy way.
With that said, this article was very funny, lighthearted, and gives every logical reason why we should just sell our kids on eBay and run off into the sunset with our men ?
A mother’s love isn’t logical, is it? They are little parasites, and yet still, if we could only save the life of one, we’d choose the child over the husband.
A husband needs for the mother of his children to have that devotion, he counts on it. But, don’t mix up the level of love with the level of priority. Love is what conquers all, and your kids weren’t meant to be conquered.
So much this. Thank you for taking the time to put into words what is in my heart but I’m too busy to write down. We also have three (under three) and every bullet point you said is absolutely true. Now I’m looking forward more than ever for 5pm and his “I’m headed home” text. And I was already REALLY looking forward to it. 🙂
I don’t love my husband more than MORE than my child, I love him DIFFERENTLY than my child. And I don’t love my husband or my child more than my parents. I don’t get thecneed to rank love.
I once asked my husband if he loved our baby (now 8) more or me more. And I thought his reply was perfect – I CHOOSE to love you, but I’m hard-wired to love her”. And I think this hard-wiring of love for our children ensures that if there were something wrong, our priority lies in protecting our children. And our partners and husbands should be proud of that.
It is a different love. I would expect my husband to put my children before me as they are more “helpless”. Although I can respect your list, I don’t agree. Husbands are also not perfect and do things that are “annoying” like kids. I wouldn’t use that as a reason to love someone else more. Your last point I can stand behind but not the rest. My kids will always come first if I had to choose. My mom told me when I was 8 that she put her husband (my step-dad mind you) before her kids because we would leave someday and he would be there for her. Broke my kid heart. I would never say that to my kids for that reason.
To each their own! We put our kids first and we love that about each other. Doesn’t make our relationship better/worse. You have to do what works for you!
I was raised this way, and I wholeheartedly agree with you. When husbands don’t come first, it’s likely the marriage will start to crumble. My parents marriage is strong as ever, and I can tell you, I never for one moment believed they didn’t love me. Miserable, divorced parents are not better for their children because they put their children first and not each other. Happy, loving parents are BEST for their kids. You were so right when you said they’ll grow up and move out and you’ll be left with your husband. You want that relationship to be strong.
Great article!