Before we begin, I adore my kids. If my husband is my #1, there is no question that they are my #1.25, #1.5, and #1.75. One day I’ll write another article titled “Why I Love My 3 Sons More Than Everyone Else EXCEPT FOR My Husband”. Ok?!? So just know that my children are loved, and don’t judge me, and don’t write a bunch of mean comments about what a cold-hearted mom I am. Now. Moving on.
To my husband….I tried really hard to keep this from being mushy and sappy (I could have gone SO mushy and SO sappy. Recognize that. Appreciate it. Be relieved).
So here, in no particular order, are the reasons Why I Love My Husband More Than My Children:
– I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to nurse my husband (and if he were to ask, I could simply tell him “not tonight”).
– The two of us were an “us” before the five of us were an “us”. He came first, and in my opinion, he should remain that way.
– My husband NEVER says, “I pooped. And it’s really messy. Can you PLEASE just wipe me this one time, and I’ll go back to wiping myself tomorrow? (True story).
– I CHOSE him, and he chose me. There is something special about that. God GAVE me my kids. I was BLESSED with kids. I chose TO HAVE kids. But I didn’t specifically, individually, hand-pick each one, based on how much I just genuinely like THEM. I did with my husband (and I would again in a heartbeat!)
– HE is my voice of reason. The calm to my storm. THEY are my storm. (Beautiful little storms they are, but storms, nonetheless).
– Quite simply, he is, and pretty much always has been, my favorite person ever. Favorite Person Ever is a hard position to replace.
– Picking up the stray empty beer can he left out on the back patio is much preferable to picking up the stray sippy cup that rolled underneath the couch, and is now full of hard milk. Do you know what hard milk is? Exactly what it sounds like. Milk that isn’t even liquid anymore.
– He is my teammate. My partner. We work TOGETHER to love our kids well, raise our kids well, teach our kids well, and enjoy our kids well. But it is HE who remains my partner…not them.
-He puts me first. They put me last. Oh, how they put me last! “Mama doesn’t need to pee, poop, eat or sleep! Just feed me NOW!” says my newborn (Was I that selfish when I was a newborn?? I mean, seriously).
– This verse from the Bible: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” No where does it ever say I am to become “one flesh” with my children. Plus….if all goes well…my little men are going to leave THEIR father and mother one day (mother…that’s me! Sob sob), and my husband is who I will be left with. Better make sure I love him best.
– “They” (the kids) have RUINED my already, not-that-impressive boobs. HE (contrary to what he may say) is going to be the one who is going to (pay to) FIX my boobs. Unless I change my mind about that.
– He is my best friend. They are my babies. My little loves. My responsibilities. My JOB. Blessings. Amazing gifts, designed by God. My heart, walking around on three little sets of legs, yes. But… they aren’t my best friends. They aren’t who I go to relax with, laugh with, vent to, unwind with, and dream with. He is.
– Convincing my husband to take a nap is never a battle. He’s an obedient little guy.
– He looks at me, sees “end of my rope/going crazy/sliding right off of the Sanity Precipice” in my eyes, and swoops in to save. They look at me, see “end of my rope/going crazy, sliding right off the Sanity Precipice” in my eyes, and….they move in for the kill.
– He gave me them.
Do YOU love your husband more than your kids?
She says her kids are her job, what a mom. My kids are the light of my life, my whole heart, not a job. And they will ALWAYS come before everyone, myself and my husband included. Amen.
Ummm. No. Just no. Love my husband and we have been together since I was 14. I’m 40. Never have I ever looked at him and had the same gut wrenching kind of love that I have for my kids. Ever. Cannot compute how anyone would consider them in the same league.
You know, I don’t have kids so I can’t speak on this really, but it was a very interesting article. I think I’m leaning towards the ‘I love them equally but differently comment. What I can speak on though is the self-righteousness and rudeness expressed in some of these opinions. Hailey wrote this article in a non-judgemental fashion. I understand that people would disagree but the way in which some of you express this is really uncalled for. Geez so judgy. You’re not better than her because you love your babies ‘more’ than your husband and quite frankly I think you didn’t grasp the article (or its humour) at all.
Cannot tell you how fully I agree. I am surprised at the lack of comprehension of some posters…Yes, you are “what a mom!” I think that it is quite apparent that you have healthy, well cared for, well-adjusted kids who are learning self-confidence and who will hopefully grow up knowing just how well they deserve to be treated in their marriage relationship. My parents were always, always, always first for each other, and I’m so grateful to have grown up in a home where I knew above all else that my parents were secure in their marriage, and that together they would do anything for us. I’m grateful to have grown up seeing my dad treat my mother with love, kindness, and tenderness, and that he treated me that way too, and I knew that any man who really loved me would do nothing less than the same. I’m grateful beyond words that they were each other’s number 1. I don’t feel badly, or shorted, or like I am less than, or that because they are first to eachother that it makes me second by default. Many people are saying it is “different” so they can’t say who they love more… They are right, it is different. My parents are number one to each other, and their kids are their number one together, all of us, even (or especially?) the ones who have passed away. Families are forever. LOVE this article.
My mom always told me that you put your husband first and you kids a close 2nd. That is what her and my dad did. I never realized this until I was older but by them putting each other first it taught me what I should look for in a relationship. I never felt 2nd I just always felt my Dad and Mom loved each other more than any other parents I knew. I felt stable…like my parents would never divorce. They still have that love for each other. If parents are in love and put their marriage first the love of their marriage will be felt 100 times more by the children. Bravo on this article!
My children are grown now. They came first. Still do. My husband knows it & we are great. 32years & we are still happy!! I take good care of him. Always have. But my children are my children. Can’t even imagine it being your way.
What a judgmental group of assholes. Don’t let your opinion differ or you are attacked by a bunch of snarky PTA moms
What if your child’s father cheated on you and you’re now divorced from him and remarried to someone else? Do you put your new husband before your child? My daughter currently comes first, I had her first…..
Yes your husband should be a fully functioning autonomous adult while choosing to be a parent ( emphasis on choice) by definition is all the things you say your husband is not or does not do. I guess you know that the way you titled your article is odd and would strike strong responses. The only response that may matter someday, is that of your children to the idea that quantifies love or “loving more”. Perhaps “differently” would be a better qualifier? Just my thoughts.
I value all the opposing view points. Clearly, relationships and families are diffefent. What works for one, is not the answer for another.
I usually do not leave critical feedback, but felt compelled. I will not pick sides or argue my perspective of whether my beloved husband or adored children are #1 in my life. However, I will simply point out what I found ironic. The author cleary took a stance on a hot topic that has been effectively be debated. Therefore, it’s an opinion article. She gave us her opinion, yet several times, told the reader (dare I say “ordered” her audience) how they should feel. We were not allowed to form our opinion on the article because were ordered to be grateful for the way she wrote (not too sappy). She expressed her opinion, yet told us not to judge her. There are other examples. Writing an opinion article leaves you vulnerable. People will disagree with you. Please consider being less demanding to future audiences who read your work.