It was a beautiful day outside. Spring was in the air. Well Spring and other less than desired Austin allergens. You see, I fear the days I pull the weather report and see the pollen counts through the roof. And not just because I feel dreaded awful, but for a much more mortifying reason. Truth be told, I cannot sneeze without peeing my pants. There it is, the inter web world now knows one of my deepest darkest secrets.
Rewind to a few months ago. As I strolled along the beloved isles of Tarjay, I glanced down at my daughter’s shorts realizing she was a little wet. Then I felt it coming upon me… that dreaded tickle… Achoo! Quickly, I reflexively squeezed my thighs together in an attempt to thwart my imminent destiny. Nope too late. The damage was done, right in the middle of Target.
Our trip to Target was cut short by not one, but two, wet britches. The thing is, my personal continence after my daughter was questionable at best, but now that I am eight months pregnant with No. 2 it is merely laughable. So what say you? Potty training is for the tots? Not so fast says my daily Kegels! Let’s just put it this way… These days when I pack her diaper bag, I not only ensure my daughter has a change of clothes, but that I do too. Sigh!
And that’s when I realized. My toddler gets me, and I get her. We both pee our pants!!!! But the solidarity doesn’t end there friends! It turns out toddlerhood and pregnancy have some shocking similarities!
So in addition to peeing our pants, here are 10 more reasons toddlers and preggers are more similar than you might realize!
1. Mood Swings:
Oh toddler who goes from laughing to crying within seconds with the tiniest infraction. Who am I to judge? This pregnancy I have been brought to tears by the following infractions: no chocolate in the house, food on my shirt, a disorganized drawer, a misbehaving dog, and trying to feed my tot. The good news is these are mood swings… and just like my toddler, distract me with a delicious carb, sugar or foot rub, and I will most likely forgive your recent injustice. The same works for my tot, only substitute foot rubs for toys!
And if you thought typical mood swings were bad… wait until you meet hangry! There are no tears here just RAGE! So just… don’t… even… try… Do not communicate with me before I have had my coffee (yes I am a bad pregnant mom!) and breakfast in the morning. It will not end well for you. Guaranteed. I have learned to show my daughter the same respect (albeit substitute milk for coffee). For she is no stranger to the HANGRY monster.
3. Screaming for snacks:
I scream, you scream. We all scream for snacks. Seriously y’all, I rip into those precious goldfish packets, pretzels, and fun fruits like a cheetah to its prey. And you should see my daughter. I am pretty sure snacks are the sole reason she has decided dexterity to be a worthy endeavor.
“You are so cute when you run!!! Look at that waddle!” Friends, when I say it to my daughter, it’s OK, but say it to me, better make sure I am not Hangry or experiencing a mood swing because it is just not cute that I have to walk like I have a ball stuck between my thighs. Because the thing is, I kinda do, and it’s painful, and I am 34 weeks pregnant, so let’s just move on. Thanks.
5. Food Bump:
Oh I miss the days when it was only my breasts that caught my clumsy food intake. I do not think I ever realized how much food I dropped on the floor until I developed this giant bump as a catch all food trap. The good news? My floor is cleaner. The bad news? Both my daughter’s and my clothes are stained right where our our belly buttons lie. Coincidence? I think not.
6. Goodbye Attention Span:
What what was I saying… I hate the stereotype of “mommy brain” and “pregnancy brain” making women seem incompetent during their child bearing years. The truth is… And I am only going to speak for myself here… It kinda is true. At least for me unfortunately. I am scattered. (More so than usual). I look at my little girl and she seems to have the same issue. Yesterday we both put our cell phones in her play oven, and neither of us could figure out where they went. The struggle is real y’all!
It’s a must have. I am kicked all night, up all day. Mamma needs her nap, and trust me little one… So… Do… You!
8. Outgrow Clothes:
There are two things I refuse to spend real money on: maternity clothes and toddler clothes. It better be used or on sale for under $10 because as soon as I bring those outfits home, we will both have magically outgrown them. Stay tuned… my daughter and I will both look adorable… as soon as we both stop growing so dang fast!
9. The Pot Belly:
Oh baby, it’s all about the bump… about that bump… about that bump! Girlfriend knows what I am talking about… Talk about the cutest pot belly I’ve ever seen! She knows how to strut that belly with pride, and I try to take lessons in my daughter’s pot belly confidence and body acceptance.
10. And lastly, drumroll please… We both LOVE SO HARD!