My Hysterectomy 

I’d been having abnormally heavy periods, enough that after two months of having to leave work early due to embarrassing leaks, large clots and the seemingly impossible task of taming the flow, I went to see my gynecologist.  I’ve felt a lot of uncomfortable body changes over the past several years (I’m 41 now). And it seemed wherever I turned, I was told, “it’s your age.” Hmmm. For me, it felt like people were telling me not to listen to my body, and dismissing what I feel is off within me. So, in preparing to go to the doctor for my heavy periods, I knew something wasn’t right, but I prepared myself to hear that I just needed to adjust my birth control pills.

The doctor performed a vaginal ultrasound, something I hadn’t had for over 10 years, and she immediately told me she saw two large masses called fibroids. They are non-cancerous tumors (99.9% of the time) many women have, and it appeared mine had been growing for quite some time. She recommended a specialist, who I saw a few weeks later. He scheduled and performed my hysterectomy (to remove my uterus, cervix and Fallopian tubes. My ovaries stayed). I’m grateful to this doctor who gave me several options, and fully supported my decision to have a hysterectomy. 

I’ve never been under general anesthesia before, and I was most nervous about that.

I tried to process the emotional aspect of losing my uterus, but my mind instead focused on what needed to happen. A friend organized a Rosary and we said it together the evening before my surgery. I felt protected. I was very open with my kids (13, 10) about the procedure, explained the why and how of my surgery, and answered any questions they had. They mainly wanted to know if I’d be okay.

Going under anesthesia and having surgery is such a vulnerable experience.

The nurses at Bailey Square Surgery Center were absolutely amazing…kind, patient, attentive, proactive. As I was laying in the operating room, one nurse tightly held my hand until I fell asleep. Then boom! I’m awake. Staying the night was such a strong contributor to my recovery – I had an IV of liquids, I was given an ice pack every few hours, my pain was managed for me, I was reassured (it was really hard to urinate) and I was nurtured.

Now 2-weeks post-surgery, I feel tired, but good. A friend told me, “you need more rest than you realize.” That is the truth. The healing process feels like period cramps, and there’s gas pain (the first day I pooped again was miraculous). My village has prayed for me, taken my kids for lunch and swimming, brought Slurpee’s, smoothies, food and flowers. My brother even sent me a singing telegram. Let me tell you, in my drug-induced state, that was an experience of a lifetime.

However, I still don’t really know how I feel about losing my uterus.

I was weepy, but I think that was more about being tired and the stress of the surgery and healing on my body.  Maybe I’m just grateful to my uterus for holding my two most precious beings, and I’m at peace with saying goodbye.

Wherever you are with your body and health, know that you are never alone. There’s a village of moms who hold space for you. For example, a fellow Austin Moms Blog contributor had experienced and written about her hysterectomy, and she provided support and comforting resources, including HysterSisters.

I didn’t think a hysterectomy would be a part of my story, but as Brene Brown says, “Owning your story is the bravest thing you will ever do.”