When you’ve made it to friendship in your thirties, you’ve done just that…made it. By now you’ve done a pretty good job weeding through the fakes and fairweathers to assemble an A+ lineup. These are the friends who have seen you through all walks of life (and blood alcohol levels) and are still around. Your thirties are a beautiful melting pot of the incredible people that broke through the petty stages and mean girl meltdowns. If you love me at my “I’m over 30, covered in kids, living in sweats and is Dua Lipa a new birth control?” phase, you’re the real deal. 

Friendship at an advanced age (OMG, kidding!) means we’re mature enough to let go of relationships that don’t serve us in a positive manner. We’re also ready to throw down and put in the work to nurture relationships that may have slipped through the cracks along the way. Now more than ever you can identify the people who were in your life for a reason, a quick season, and the ones you cannot bare to be without. There’s less drama and way more grace.

Your friendship foundation may be solid, but that doesn’t mean things aren’t going to be different. Instead of encouraging each other to text your exes after an all nighter, you get wine-drunk and discuss supplements and if you’re too old to be shopping at Forever 21. Beware, because there’s way less sugar-coating during this phase as well. Your true few won’t hesitate to tell you to make that doctor’s appointment, dump his a**, or drop the fuzzy tubetop.

Oh, you totally see each other less. Sunday brunch is way more expensive than $1 beers on Thirsty Thursday, and your crew is busy making life-moves. Finishing degrees, launching businesses, planning weddings, dog birthdays and baby arrivals takes up a lot of time and energy. Instead of actually taking ballroom lessons, you might hang up your shoes to text each other between diaper changes and grading papers while Dancing with the Stars plays in the background. At this point, you’re thankful for the memories and so grateful to get the opportunity to continue to connect.

There’s less pressure. After months of not speaking, a good friend could effortlessly pop in to ask “what was that mascara we liked in 7th grade?” like no time has passed at all. You don’t call them out likely because you’re exhausted from walking up the stairs with an infant and toddler on your hip, and because these types of relationships don’t skip a beat. Just because you don’t have to babysit and coddle these types of friendships, doesn’t mean they’re not important. They’re easy and meant to be. Quality over quantity, baby. It’s the unspoken “I got you” for me.

Heartache looks different these days as well. You’d probably rather walk through actual flames ignited by your past Tinder account then see your friends go through some of the things you will. Whether navigating the loss of a parent, child, job opportunity or partner, you can’t do it alone, and you won’t. At your darkest point, I promise your true friends will come to light, even if you never called them back after your convo was cut short due to a diaper blowout three months ago.

These mature friendships are designed to honor you through every season of life. If you’re not on the same page, you’re so lucky to be in the same book. To know that life keeps rolling and takes you down different paths makes it even more beautiful when you sync up. Sprinkle in a few work buds and pickup line pals and you’re unstoppable. Post-30 friendships are some of the realest, rawest and most fun to reminisce with (embarrassing photo evidence is optional).   

Ali Tierney
Ali is a lover of boybands, cheese, and a good leather jacket (not always in that order). Born and raised on the Jersey Shore, she left her career as a radio personality to move to Texas with the love of her life, Ed. Since moving to Austin, she became a wife, mama to two sweet little boys, and author of "B is for Boy Bands." She loves salsa dancing, nail salons that serve champagne, and has an Mmmbop tattoo. You can check out her book on Instagram @bisforboybands


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