So, this is part of the “things you don’t really want to talk about, but need to talk about” side of parenting. Should we stick to nicknames for our kiddos private parts or teach them the proper names when they’re young?
There are a ton of varying opinions on the topic (well…on every topic really) and because we are entering the years of conversation with our daughter and potty training, it’s been a topic of convo in the Barry home.
There are definitely advantages to the whole, “tee tee” or “flower” thing, like when your preschooler decides to yell spontaneously in a grocery store that s/he has a big fill-in-the-blank, but I can see how confusion may arise when your son or daughter learns the true definition for the word flower and you’ve been calling her girly areas a flower all these years…then what? Mommy and Daddy have some ‘splain’ to do.
However, on the flip side, I think it would be weird to witness my three year old talking about her “vagina.”
So, what do we do? Well, I’m a big babble.com reader and Huffington Post reader and a couple of weeks ago, there was an article about the correlation between children knowing the proper terminology for their body parts and molestation (Yes, another topic NO ONE wants to talk/think about.) Seems odd right? Well, this article said, “By teaching children the correct names for their body parts—especially their genitalia—you enable them to communicate more effectively with others about their bodies and any contact that they do not like.” I found similar articles on keepyourchildsafe.org and WCSAP.org. They all encourage teaching our children the proper terminology and, when the time is right, expressing that “private parts” are well…private…and no one should see them except mommy and daddy.
Sounds heavy, but it is something we should have on our radar. It’s better to be prepared for the worst, I think.
What’s the story in your house? Proper terminology or nicknames? And what do you more experienced mamas think about these articles?
I think the articles can go both ways. I do think regardless of what nicknames you do use that kids should know the proper terms for body parts, they will learn them at some point anyway and I would rather me be the one that taught them. I want my kids to know that we can always talk about things of that nature and them be comfortable.
We have discussed many times what is and is not okay for private parts, it is something that I reiterate to my boys frequently. That is a huge fear for parents and we don’t like to think about it, but sadly it is a danger we need to educate our kids on. I am very leery to let my kids go to the bathroom in public, I usually make them go in a family bathroom so that I know no one else is in there.
I also refuse to be “that mom” that sends my boys off to dad for any type of talk that involves “private” parts, dangers, or even sex…it is just as much my job to cover those bases and it is my husbands.
Great post Vanessa, I think it will make some parents stop and think about the topic when they might not have yet. Good job!!!
I am totally for realistic body names whereas Dad is uncomfortable with it. But I think it’s important for children to be handed the facts, no matter how early.
I grew up calling my private parts my “Sukey” (pronounced sue-key) because that’s what my mom called it. I had no issues with confusion etc…growing up. I nowto have twoto girls so as u can imagine…there can be quite a few mentions of our “sukeys” in a given day; “Mommy, help me wipe my Sukey” ” Soooooo…I much prefer our little nickname but certainly don’t judge when I hear a child say vagina. That’s what it is!
FOr some reason, my son started calling them private parts but then switched to inappropriate parts. It’s kinda funny but I don’t want to scar him for life. I do use correct terminology with him since he’s almost 9 but haven’t yet mastered that with my daughter.
So glad you posted this… I honestly have NO idea what we’ll do yet!
We use the real names and have lots of talks about the private parts- all very honest. It in my opinion is the best way for sure.