Mirror Mirror on the Wall Make Me Skinnier Than Them All!

Speaking of Mirror Mirror, my mom and I went to see it this weekend and if you’re in the mood for a feel-good movie with an exceptionally yummy male lead, this flick is for you.

But moving on to the mirror mirror I want to break with excessive force.

This blog wasn’t actually scheduled today, but this morning I had a three minute stare-down-suck-in-fest with the mirror and I felt enraged inspired.

In November of last year I had this exact same battle with myself: I looked in the mirror and was thinking “Vanessa…you can’t say ‘I just had a baby’ until she’s 6…stop eating everything!” and that was it. I kicked my own ass at CrossFit, started eating Paleo and had the results to prove it. I was down several (in the tenish region) pounds, several percentages of body fat, a pant size and a chin. Life was good. Then I started cheating. It was pretty minimal at first…more flirting with food. I’d have ONE MnM and then go do some jumping jacks in the corner and all was well in the world, but around the holidays my body became a permanent resting place for all things evil food.

Why is it so hard to get into the great gated neighborhood of where you want to be and so easy to get back into the ghetto? (I’m going with the neighborhood analogy…work with me.) AND how does this all relate to the type of mommy that I am…well let me tell you! A couple of things crossed my mind this morning in between looking at facebook and seeing if I’m a candidate for emergency liposuction.

Saying: “You don’t have to be a size 2 to be a good mom.”

Truth: Oh, I know, I don’t want to be a size 2…but a size 4 wouldn’t be so bad…kidding..sort of. I don’t think that being a smaller size will make a difference in my ability to be a great mother but it DOES (as much as I hate to admit it) interfere with the type of mothering I am comfortable doing. That sounds funky so let me explain…I hate going to the park. Why? Because I hate being in shorts. Why? Because I hate my legs. Stupid, I know. Sometimes A lot of the time I do go to the park, but I’m the goof wearing jeans or a pant and jacket work out suit and it’s miserable. I want to feel comfortable in shorts and not like tiny daisy dukes, but a modest-length mom-short would be acceptable. Also, ever since I fell off the wagon, I’m more exhausted all the time and lazy. When I was Paleo I had this amazing natural energy that I wish I could have bottled up it was so good. Must get back to that.

Saying: “Everyone is insecure and it’s reality…it’s okay!”

Truth: Yes, I know that everyone is insecure about something, but as I grow into the parent of a young lady, it’s pretty important that my body image issues don’t rub off on her. I do not want her to walk into my room when she’s seven and says she’s fat. I’ve heard it happen and that’s so sad and scary.

Saying: “Don’t lose it now, wait until you have another baby.”

Truth: I won’t get graphic or anything, but I’m pretty sure trying to make another baby is more fun when both parties are feeling confident and ready. AND if I add the extra weight I have now on to the extra weight I’ll likely gain from baby number 2, I might as well kick my dream of comfortably wearing shorts down the drain.

Sooo…after a three minute spat with my mirror, thirty minutes of thinking and a blog later, I’m getting back on the wagon. I’ve already started going back to CrossFit Round Rock…man I love that place. I can’t really move anything North of my elbows (triceps, biceps and all other “ceps”) but I love it and now it’s time to get my eating in check. You really need to do both to be successful.

So, raise your morning cup of joe with me and cheers! to getting back on the wagon and confident mommies breeding confident babies.

Have a great day, AMB!