The Myth Of Balance
I’m not sure I have ever had balance in my life. My Type A personality is mostly to blame for this. I’m typically an all or nothing type. If I commit to something or someone, I tend to give it my everything. 110% of me. This has been both a strength and a weakness of my personality, at times. Because giving that much of myself to any number of things, means I’m having to make choices NOT to give myself in other areas. I’ve had to assess my priorities, make choices, and realign my focus throughout different seasons of life.
My current season is motherhood. So my life is hardly balance, because the focus is my babies.
I am a mom, and my scale is always tipped to my kids.
But which kid?
My greatest balance struggle as a mom has been making sure there is enough MOM to go around for all three of my boys. But, the reality is, if someone is getting my undivided attention, then someone else is NOT.
If I’m giving a little to several, no one gets the full me. Including myself, my husband, and my friends.
I try to make time for me, but I usually put myself on the back burner. I prepare and serve my family’s meal before I begin my own. That usually means mine is cold by the time I get to it. I make sure everyone is happy and settled, and hopefully sleeping, before I take my shower for the day, and some days that means a shower isn’t in the cards for me.
Wife & Mother
After kids, date nights take a whole lot more planning. More often than not, our date nights are spent on our back porch or attempting to keep my eyes open long enough to watch a movie together at home. But, no matter how exhausted the day with our circus leaves us, we have not forgotten that there wouldn’t be our babies with us first.
What social life?
Motherhood has changed me. Changed my priorities, and my perspective. So even with the best of intentions to stay in touch or meet up regularly with my friends, life tends to get in the way. My gage of friendships are different than it was before I became a mother. My expectations of friendships are different, and what I have to give is different too.
We haven’t given up our love to travel since becoming parents, but our trips now depend heavily on kid-friendly destinations and ease of transportation. Spur of the moment trips are next to impossible after kids. There are now 5 schedules in our home to juggle and plan around.
There are so many articles out there with advice that laundry and dishes can wait. But just how long can they wait? How many dishes can pile up before someone has to stop making memories to clean them? At what point when dirty laundry is spilling over, do we stop the fun stuff to do the dirty work?
We all struggle with the myth that life, especially motherhood, should be perfectly balanced. But it’s just not. Someone will always get more of me and others will always get less. Our weekends are now filled with birthday parties, naps, and soccer games. That usually doesn’t leave time for much else. Our home, our schedule, and our focus have all shifted towards our family and our KIDS. I’m not just okay with this shift, I’ve chosen it. This shift has made my world complete and my heart full.